Mean-spirited Cousin

The patient.


Guinness: Today began as such a good day. There was a festive spirit in the air. Uncle Gary and Aunt Ruth are here. Then cousins Mark and Laura arrived with their two darling children. I was eager to play with them, but they thought I was too excitable, and left me in my crate. I heard Mom tell Mark about our bad Tuesday and that I choked after her strict correction. He quipped, “You know, dogs are good actors.” What kind of friend is that! Quite unexpectedly, Mark opened my crate and pricked me with a needle. It wasn’t long before I was very, very sleepy. When I awoke, I was missing some body parts. I don’t understand why someone who appears to like me would do such a dastardly thing. At least, Mom and Dad seem to be feeling genuinely sorry for me. I plan to play their sympathies up to the hilt!