These are Guinness's Nephew and Niece

It is a known fact that all food and kitchen trash must be put away when the dogs are left in the house alone. Duke and Daisy, Greg's loving boxers, are inveterate scroungers. The flooring displays the scars of the consequences of human forgetfulness and canine adventures.
When I returned to the house from taking the kids to school, I found the dogs in the living room tearing open a large bag of fruity colored cereal flakes. Fortunately, they were only beginning their feast, so a few swipes with the vacuum restored order.
The dogs have caused enough damage to the living room carpet and the kitchen vinyl flooring that it is time for replacements to more durable products – wood and ceramic tile. Mid-day, while waiting for a flooring man to arrive to measure the two rooms, I whipped up my favorite banana oatmeal chocolate chip muffins for the kids to have as an after school treat. Besides, I needed a bribe for Jeremy since I was hauling him off to Wal-Mart for a few groceries. I put two muffins in a container with a napkin, placed the remaining muffins in the microwave to be out of the dogs’ reach, and left for school. About three blocks from home, I noted that the muffins were not with me, so I turned around in a driveway and hurried home hoping the dogs had not found them yet. The muffins were intact on the counter, but the dogs had the trash can knocked over and were about to gorge on discarded goodies. I threw the trash outside, tossed treats to the dogs for not eating the muffins, grabbed the container, and sped back to school. As I pulled up in line at the curb, I saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror. I had no idea how long he had been following me.
I rolled down my window and innocently asked, “Was I speeding?”
“Yes, you were, Mam. 31 in a 20. May I see your license and insurance?”
“I am Grandma from Canada, here to help while my daughter-in-law is in the hospital.”
“Don't they have speed limits in Canada?”
“Yes, but they don't stop anyone; at least, not me. I have to tell you about my day.” I proceeded to relate my tale about the muffins as a bribe, the dogs, the return for the muffins, and the trash as I handed him my license and the insurance card. Thank heavens, Greg looked up insurance documents in the filing cabinet last night because he had discovered that he was paying twice for the same vehicle. Filed there, he found the new insurance cards for the car I was driving.
“That is a story I have never heard before. I’ll let you off this time for being funny. But you must slow down.”
“Thank you, sir. That is very kind of you.”
I related the events of my day when Greg called as he drove from work to the hospital. He asked which vehicle I had been driving, then registered alarm that the whole neighborhood had seen his car pulled over by a cop. He has owned this Acura for less than three months, yet he, Cathi, and now I have been stopped for speeding.
While replaying my shortcomings, I remembered that I had neglected to give Jeremy his allergy medication this morning as well as yesterday morning. I have failed the Motherhood Test.