Annual Exam

Guinness wins the prize for being the most enthusiastic patient at his vet’s office. He enters pulling with all his might on his leash with the pinch collar pinching him. Today, there were four or five small dogs, most with an elderly master, in the waiting room. None of the dogs or masters was delighted with Guinness’s behavior. The expressions on their faces were incredulous watching my crazed dog trying to reach them while barking at the top of his voice. All I can do is say, “Can you tell he LOVES coming here?” or “He is so excited to see all of you here today.” Then I noted that Alice, from doggie park, was standing at the pay window purchasing some special treats for Holly. I was shocked that she never turned her head to see what all the ruckus was. When Guinness saw her, he was delirious with joy. Fortunately, Holly was not with her. Just imagine what would have happened if Holly had been there too! Two dogs tearing at high speed around a small waiting room! Slowly, everyone in the waiting room had their turn in an exam room, and we were alone. He jumped up on the bench seat where I was seated, demanding my total attention.

When we entered the exam room, one of the assistants tried to weigh him. I told her that I needed to do it alone as he would never settle for her. With her in the room, she thought he was 69, but I knew he was still being too crazy for an accurate reading. After she left, he stood peacefully and registered 67.4 pounds. He is picking up weight – .4 pounds in 2 weeks! The doctor called him a clown and pronounced that he is going to be a “perpetual puppy.” He said, “I love you too,” after receiving a sloppy kiss on the face. Guinness accepted his shots without a flinch. I enjoyed telling the doctor the erroneous story of Guinness’s supposed bladder problem, but was sorry that the vet who had dealt with that issue was not present to hear it from me. He declared Guinness healthy and slim but not too skinny. He said that Guinness, like most males, doesn’t want to grow up. Apparently, his wife complains that he still acts like a little boy after 32 years of marriage.

Back in the waiting room, a couple more dogs entered as we were trying to pay our bill. He skidded his paws on the floor as if he were on a treadmill, while I held his leash firmly. Then he did his melting chocolate trick to get tummy rubs. On our way out of the building, another medium size dog was approaching. Guinness was on a rampage to have playtime, frightening yet another owner who picked up her dog lest he be attacked by the maniacal dog. Oh, my….